Bad Joke Thread

What grades did the pirate get on his report card?

Seven Cs.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

ligoxi - Lol - it is indeed terrible...and likely does not translate from English well at all!

Spelled out -

Why is six is afraid of seven?

Because seven "ate" nine.

The number 8 in English is pronounced the same as our past tense version of the word "eat"...and then it's just a play on sequential counting (and well, the apparent fact that the number 7 has a taste for other numbers). I heard it when I was in elementary school, about where it could have stayed, ha!

Oblio for the worst joke win! Top it, folks

Because 7 8 9.
Because seven "ate" nine.

Me feeling dump in the bodhi linux forums (my status update)

We've been doing this for 6 weeks lol.

Why did the scarecrow get promoted?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

I stepped into an elevator today and a very large breasted woman stepped in with me.

As I was staring at her because I couldn't help it, she says would you press one please, so I did.

I really don't remember much after that...

Not really a punch line type joke, but something I did when I was younger that I thought was funny...another thread topic reminded me of this.

So in the mid 90's my parents had bought a PC. AMD K5 system with Riva128 graphics. 56k modem. Fun little box in the day.

Anyway, my dad used to sell building materials to lumberyards from a wholesalers. My dad worked specifically in millwork (windows) after years of general material sales. Anyway, this meant that a fair amount of my dad's work was coordinated from our home office. Now, this was rural Wisconsin living in the 90s...so this was not really an office, but a fax machine and phone on a roll-top desk with a PC...that happened to live nearby...this PC my dad certainly did not use. I mean, common, lumberyards in the 90's? Everything was phone or fax.

Needless to say, our PC was generally off when not in use. Oh, I forgot to mention our phone system was very unusual for a rural home in that we had two phone lines - one line for our general use and then one for my dads fax and our dial-up. Faxes occasionally came in during business hours, so tying up that line with Internet use was generally a non-issue. More on this later...

Well...I have always enjoyed tinkering with electronics and computers and this was our first PC with BIOS...exciting stuff! This system replaced our Commodore 64 (swoon for me, but as said, computers were not for my dad). Tinkering, it didn't take me long to find "wake on" event settings.

This is where the mischief comes in.

I found a wake on event for modem events...which I decided to "punk" my parents with. So on went that setting.

So here is my dad, sometimes home alone during weekdays conducting work (when not on the road visiting his customers or working trade shows). When he was home, mostly outbound calls and fax. Seldom inbound. Situation normal. Kids (me and brothers) are home after school, computer is on, possibly on the Internet or gaming, situation normal.

But, every once in a blue moon (maybe more ), I would come home from school and my dad would have another, "I swear the damn thing is possessed" stories to tell about him doing something around the house or yard and returning only to discover our PC turned on!!

I let this ride for probably about 4 months.

Finally one day my dad was was about to go on about another "how the PC magically turned itself on again" stories when I finally lost my ability to control my amusement and started laughing my @ss off! He finally wised up!

Shoots me a look..."Alright, what the h3ll did you do to the computer?!"

I eventually explained and turned the setting off.

It was pretty amusing...pretty d@mn amusing...and it's no wonder my dad doesn't love PCs!

***

Anyway, happy Friday. I hope you all are survivin' out there. Be well!